Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Clinginess is Underrated
Hi everyone, Before I get to the post today, I want to let you know that this Friday Dr. Patrick Heron will visit this blog all the way from Dublin, Ireland. Dr. Heron is a friend of ours who has written several best-sellers which are the talk of the town throughout Europe and quickly spreading here in the US. His topic is end times, eschatology. Please stop in on Friday. Patrick will check the comments for questions so if you have anything you want to ask him, hop on board.
This morning as I drove through Blue Hills, I feasted on the beautiful colors of the forest and enjoyed the quietness. I love to pray on that stretch of road. Sometimes it’s busy but not today. The fog wisped through the trees and birds chirped loudly, one flew right in front of me. This is not Eden, folks, yet God in his infinite wisdom and foresight has given us much on this great earth to supply our needs, oxygen, food, and water.
As I thanked him for these things I realized I’m so clingy.
I’m grateful for all He’s provided here but I want more. I’m needy. I have to talk to him and I want him to talk back. Isn’t communication systemic to relationship? It doesn’t have to be verbal, although that seems primary to us as humans at times. So I asked God to forgive me. While others are content with his provision, I’d rather have him. I reminded him I’ve always been intense and rather high maintenance. I want to know him, I don’t care what people say about him good or bad, He’s the one for me.
So I laid out the week ahead, giving it all to him. I included some repentance, which is not the same as asking forgiveness. Repentance is another post altogether. I lived without it for so long that when I finally got it I was shocked it’s not being taught on every street corner. And it’s been given a black eye by just about every church I’ve been in, no wonder people don’t talk about it much. Perhaps I’ll post on that next week. But for today I’m clingy. So I told God, yes, here I am walking on this crowded earth and I need my Daddy’s little finger to get through. The provision is nice but without him it’s meaningless to me.
I drove down the last quiet stretch where it’s still forest and some houses thinking I had to pay attention since I’d soon be surrounded by more cars, radios blaring, people jumping red lights, you know the drill. I had to change lanes ahead coming up on the intersection where city life begins to blast. My window was open just a tad so the noise wouldn’t be too annoying so early in the morning and it was a little cool out. I will admit I had the heat on, I wimp out at 63 degrees or so; pitiful, I know. I looked in the rear view noticing a few cars behind me. I checked my left side mirror, all clear. I put on my left blinker and began to ease on over.
The loud roar was more in my ear than out of it, almost like a bee had gotten in there but not a buzzing sound, just a loud roar and my ear vibrated.
Without looking, I moved back into my lane. I checked the side mirror and there was nothing. Seconds later along came a small car up on my left side. He was in my blind spot, I never saw him till he was close to my elbow. I slowed to let him pass and pulled into the left lane behind him. Then it dawned on me. It’s hard to hear a little car that doesn’t have muffler problems. It’s hard to hear through glass.
I smiled to heaven thanking God for rescuing me yet again.
I don’t know how others do it. I’m just too needy I suppose. I have to have him, I have to hear him, I have to see his little miracles throughout my day, I have to know he’s there and if I think he’s not, I drop everything and go looking for him. It’s not that I don’t believe the scriptures, I do, absolutely. I love his notes, but I love having coffee with him more. Many people read the book and that’s enough for them. Some read the book and think that’s all there is, that all the things he did back then is all he’ll ever do. That’s sad to me. Perhaps that insulates them from their fear of rejection, I’m not sure. But I do know this, I want to have breakfast lunch and dinner with my Dad and if I can fit in some more time and tea, too, all the better.
It’s ok to be clingy. I think he likes that, his little finger is always there whenever I reach up.
Photo credit: Elizabeth McGrath